Willpower: What to do when your willpower runs out
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Willpower 101
Willpower, by definition, is the control exerted to do something or restrain impulses. When phrased in that way, willpower seems pretty simple. It seems like making the conscious decision to exert control and override any urges for certain things or actions is all you have to do. Is it really that simple though? In most cases, no. It’s not always as easy as forging ahead and pushing through.
Why we can’t always depend on willpower:
According to the American Psychology Association, “Although Walter Mischel’s hot-cool framework may explain our ability to delay gratification, another theory known as willpower depletion has emerged to explain what happens after we’ve resisted temptation after temptation. Every day, in one form or another, you exert willpower. You resist the urge to surf the web instead of finishing your expense report. You reach for a salad when you’re craving a burger. You bite your tongue when you’d like to make a snide remark. Yet a growing body of research shows that resisting repeated temptations takes a mental toll. Some experts liken willpower to a muscle that can get fatigued from overuse.”
If willpower is a muscle, that muscle can become weakened in the face of so many different circumstances. These can impact your ability to exert such control and keep that muscle in tip top shape. The ebb and flow of life on a daily basis is enough to drastically impact how you make choices.
Some examples that impact willpower are:
Mindset
Stress
Family commitments
Career obligations
Relationship strains
Unforeseen circumstances
Health issues
Time
How you sleep
Energy levels
How well your skills and tools are developed when dealing with challenging situations - coping mechanisms when it comes to weight loss, ability to manage time in your career, emotional regulation for certain life issues and so much more.
Develop A System To Support Willpower
Develop a set of go-to skills and tools, a system, to depend on no matter the current situations of life. Some people refer to this kind of system as keystone habits. Others call them big rocks. Sometimes, they are just your list of daily non-negotiables. No matter what you call them, creating such a system can support you in staying dialed into what’s most important to you. In various facets of life, this might look like:
Health, Wellness & Weight Loss - drink x amount of water per day, 5 minutes of quiet time daily, x amount of workout per week, use portion control no matter the situation, take a meditative walk daily or 3x per week, schedule workouts, time for yourself, and meals just like you would any other important commitment
Career - time block your day to stay focused on task management, intentionally delegate certain actions so you can spend your energy efficiently, take breaks to clear your mind, allocate time for lunch that doesn’t involve eating and working simultaneously
Relationship - take time to connect daily with your partner, work on emotional regulation, monthly goal setting or budget planning sessions, time away together, weekly pulse checks
There are so many other examples and areas of life that these systems can be employed in order to support you in a way that aligns with your goals and/or your priorities.
Wrapping Up
While most of us have thought of willpower as something we “should” be able to have or possess, it’s not as simple as that. Finding strategies and tools to support the daily decisions you make can be incredibly important in flexing this muscle and keeping it strong. Developing a system of actional habits and action steps can rely on means you can be armed with skills to better support yourself no matter the situation.
If you need personalized help with willpower, check out VITA HEALTH COACHING for 1:1 support and guidance.
LEARN MORE
Ready to dig in when it comes to willpower? Here are a few resources to check out:
Article: What you need to know about willpower
Listen on Spotify: The Motivated Mind - Willpower
